Someday It Will All Make Sense

...why God put you in someone else's story and why they are in yours...

...why it confuses you to distinguish the greater pain between losing someone who died or someone who lives.

...why things fall into place, then fall apart, only to fall in place again.

...why there are stories that cannot and should not end the way others expect and want them to.

...why you cannot just walk away.

...why you are still here to see this beautiful day.

Still A Girl Who Needs Her Dad

Dearest Daddy,

I want to start by saying that I have never been the same the day you left us. 

Almost a year has passed and I still wake up weeping in the middle of the night, feeling that gaping hole in my heart. 

I miss you... your infectious laughter... your silent approval of everything I do... how you genuinely love and care for my Ej and my Edgar... seeing you sitting peacefully in your favorite side of the bed while watching your favorite Kapamilya shows...  talking to you while we are having that little chit chat over a cup of coffee, or during our weekend dates.

The list just goes on and on. There is not a day that I wish you were still with us. I still go home feeling those pangs of sadness and grief at the thought that you won't be there to welcome me home. 

Broken... that's who I have been and how I will always be for the rest of my life without you.  


Losing you has been my life's greatest tragedy. 

I am somehow amazed at our strength and courage as a family to get on with our lives the past year without you. 

Perhaps, it is still you up there guiding us and Mommy to move on with our lives, just like how you have moved on in the great beyond to live eternally with our Creator.

I love you Daddy. I will always be your favorite little girl, and you will forever be my favorite superhero. 

If Only...

If only you would be kinder than necessary...

If only you would be grateful for what and who you already have...

If only you would learn to count your blessings and not focus on what and who you lack in life...

If only you would - for one moment - try to be happy and find inspiration in the achievements of others...

If only you would stop the hate and focus on nurturing your own happiness...

If only you could step out in the open and say what you wanted to say - no matter how cruel - to your innocent targets without lurking in the dark...

If only you would try to control your own demons and stop hurting people who haven't done you any harm...

If only you would choose empathy for the misery of others rather than gossip or harshly laugh at their perceived "failures"...

If you would only teach your sons or your daughters to compete with no one else but themselves...

If only you would tell them that they don't have to always win because losing is a sad reality of life, and it's not their fault if they sometimes fall short of expectations...

If you would only teach them about the value of self worth without forgetting about respect for others regardless of their stature in life...

If you would only choose to love without expecting anything in return...

Then you would make this world a much better and peaceful place to live in.

May you not forget to come home to your loved ones a much happier person.