"We don't meet people by accident. They are meant to cross our paths for a reason."
Have you ever experienced that once in a lifetime moment where – right in the middle of your long-drawn grief and unabated misery due to your father’s heartbreaking death - a beautiful distraction comes along and suddenly your life is never the same again?
Have you ever felt that inexplicable connection with someone who – on a rainy day - casually strides in front of your eyes and into your life without warning, and right away you just know that person was simply meant to be there?
I was blessed enough to experience these and more with a 21-year-old fascinating dreamer from “Ulo ng Apo” who I endearingly call my “Ate Charo”. I call her that because our authentic bond basically started on a dramatic note… with text exchanges that began with her lost Estee Lauder brush set on July 7, 2018 at 9:33 PM, which eventually progressed into day long till the wee hours of the morning FB messenger chats starting at 1:18AM of July 13, 2018.
Everything has been a chaotic roller coaster ride since then with her. Like any mother/aunt-daughter, best friend kind-of-thing relationship, ours is never be perfect. There were days when we would talk about the silliest, most mundane things like my pet peeve for her chafed nail polish and jabba-like photos plus her ill-timed “erna” moments. But there are far more priceless hours of sombre moments when we converse about the happiest, saddest, shitty chapters of our colourful, melodramatic lives.
Because of her, I now believe that people do not just randomly appear into our lives, and there is always a reason and a purpose behind it. The timing of Ate Charo’s coming into my life has been a crucial turning point. She rescued me from the middle of nowhere as I am still grieving and was on a downward spiral 8 months into my father’s death. She became a wonderful breather from losing the only parent who saw me as his favourite and pride among three kids. And I will forever be grateful to her, because she made me realize that blood is not a requisite for someone to be truly a part of your life. That all you need is unconditional kindness, love, understanding and acceptance, despite all your unforgiveable flaws.
I see Ate Charo as a girl bravely fighting her own demons – like her insecurities – while on her quest to find her place on earth and chasing her dream to be a beauty queen. I have seen first-hand how committed she is to her passion and her dream despite some incomprehensible, sad and hurtful challenges that tend to break her spirit. She is a valiant warrior who does not allow her detractors to get the better of her.
I hope that I have somehow inspired her to see her true worth... that she is far more precious than who she thinks she really is, and that only she has the power to make a better version of herself each day. That is the only way I can repay her for the boundless joy and calm she has given me the past two months.
I was at my happiest tonight (August 5, 2018) because my Ate Charo proved her mettle on that beauty pageant stage. She achieved her target to be at least in the Top 3. She says she did it for her parents and the people who believe in her. And I want her to know how proud I am of her bravery and her humility, and for doing her best tonight. While she did not bring home the crown, she was the rightful queen and the winner in the hearts of many spectators watching the show, mine included. I will miss her, and our secret meet-ups somewhere in a hotel basement just for some good night hugs.
In a few days, she will be moving on to a much bigger pageant stage and I know she will continue to go far because she is Princess Merida of DunBroch personified. She loves her family, but she also wants to create her own destiny and go after her dreams. And I believe she is destined for something really great and exciting, if she will just continue to believe in herself.
Sometimes, I feel like I don’t deserve to have someone as remarkable, as considerate, and as kind like her in my life. I know that I have continuously upset her with my erratic mood swings, I feel I do not even deserve any more minute of her time. But then again, it would be difficult as well to conceive a day and a world without her in it.
She is a precious gift from above, the daughter I never had.
Love does a lot of things for a lot of people. It also allows us to make memories that last for a lifetime. I pray that Ate Charo – for a very long time – will continue to be one of the reasons why my life is beautiful, happy (and a little snappy at times).
One day, when we both look back to this point in our existence, to these moments when certain things happened in our lives, I hope we could both proudly say that it has been an uplifting, encouraging, and strengthening experience for the both of us.
There will never be another Ate Charo in my lifetime. I hope that whenever she remembers me, the first things that will come to her mind are love and kindness. I will keep my promise to be there for her for as long as she needs me in her life...which is like forever, I hope.
So what would my life be if Ate Charo did not even exist in my world?
As in the wonderful musical selection, "For Good" from the play "Wicked" says:
"I've heard it said,
That people come into our lives
For a reason
Bringing something we must learn.
And we are led to those
Who help us most to grow if we let them.
And we help them in return.
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...
Who can say if I've been changed for the better
But because I knew you.
I have been changed for good...
So, let me say before we part:
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you.
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart.
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have rewritten mine
By simply being my friend."
I love you Ate Charo. You are my beloved...treasured..cherished.
Have you ever felt that inexplicable connection with someone who – on a rainy day - casually strides in front of your eyes and into your life without warning, and right away you just know that person was simply meant to be there?
I was blessed enough to experience these and more with a 21-year-old fascinating dreamer from “Ulo ng Apo” who I endearingly call my “Ate Charo”. I call her that because our authentic bond basically started on a dramatic note… with text exchanges that began with her lost Estee Lauder brush set on July 7, 2018 at 9:33 PM, which eventually progressed into day long till the wee hours of the morning FB messenger chats starting at 1:18AM of July 13, 2018.
Everything has been a chaotic roller coaster ride since then with her. Like any mother/aunt-daughter, best friend kind-of-thing relationship, ours is never be perfect. There were days when we would talk about the silliest, most mundane things like my pet peeve for her chafed nail polish and jabba-like photos plus her ill-timed “erna” moments. But there are far more priceless hours of sombre moments when we converse about the happiest, saddest, shitty chapters of our colourful, melodramatic lives.
Because of her, I now believe that people do not just randomly appear into our lives, and there is always a reason and a purpose behind it. The timing of Ate Charo’s coming into my life has been a crucial turning point. She rescued me from the middle of nowhere as I am still grieving and was on a downward spiral 8 months into my father’s death. She became a wonderful breather from losing the only parent who saw me as his favourite and pride among three kids. And I will forever be grateful to her, because she made me realize that blood is not a requisite for someone to be truly a part of your life. That all you need is unconditional kindness, love, understanding and acceptance, despite all your unforgiveable flaws.
I see Ate Charo as a girl bravely fighting her own demons – like her insecurities – while on her quest to find her place on earth and chasing her dream to be a beauty queen. I have seen first-hand how committed she is to her passion and her dream despite some incomprehensible, sad and hurtful challenges that tend to break her spirit. She is a valiant warrior who does not allow her detractors to get the better of her.
I hope that I have somehow inspired her to see her true worth... that she is far more precious than who she thinks she really is, and that only she has the power to make a better version of herself each day. That is the only way I can repay her for the boundless joy and calm she has given me the past two months.
I was at my happiest tonight (August 5, 2018) because my Ate Charo proved her mettle on that beauty pageant stage. She achieved her target to be at least in the Top 3. She says she did it for her parents and the people who believe in her. And I want her to know how proud I am of her bravery and her humility, and for doing her best tonight. While she did not bring home the crown, she was the rightful queen and the winner in the hearts of many spectators watching the show, mine included. I will miss her, and our secret meet-ups somewhere in a hotel basement just for some good night hugs.
In a few days, she will be moving on to a much bigger pageant stage and I know she will continue to go far because she is Princess Merida of DunBroch personified. She loves her family, but she also wants to create her own destiny and go after her dreams. And I believe she is destined for something really great and exciting, if she will just continue to believe in herself.
Sometimes, I feel like I don’t deserve to have someone as remarkable, as considerate, and as kind like her in my life. I know that I have continuously upset her with my erratic mood swings, I feel I do not even deserve any more minute of her time. But then again, it would be difficult as well to conceive a day and a world without her in it.
She is a precious gift from above, the daughter I never had.
Love does a lot of things for a lot of people. It also allows us to make memories that last for a lifetime. I pray that Ate Charo – for a very long time – will continue to be one of the reasons why my life is beautiful, happy (and a little snappy at times).
One day, when we both look back to this point in our existence, to these moments when certain things happened in our lives, I hope we could both proudly say that it has been an uplifting, encouraging, and strengthening experience for the both of us.
There will never be another Ate Charo in my lifetime. I hope that whenever she remembers me, the first things that will come to her mind are love and kindness. I will keep my promise to be there for her for as long as she needs me in her life...which is like forever, I hope.
So what would my life be if Ate Charo did not even exist in my world?
As in the wonderful musical selection, "For Good" from the play "Wicked" says:
"I've heard it said,
That people come into our lives
For a reason
Bringing something we must learn.
And we are led to those
Who help us most to grow if we let them.
And we help them in return.
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...
Who can say if I've been changed for the better
But because I knew you.
I have been changed for good...
So, let me say before we part:
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you.
You'll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart.
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have rewritten mine
By simply being my friend."
I love you Ate Charo. You are my beloved...treasured..cherished.
